My Rocky Mountain Heart

I turned 38 years old a few weeks ago and I am a frontline healthcare worker during the COVID-19 pandemic… so let’s just say, there has been a LOT of reflection happening over here as of late. The challenges of 2020 are pretty glaringly obvious so I wanted to take some time to reflect on THE GOOD THINGS that 2020 delivered to me. Here are my Top Ten Good Things that have come from 2020:

+ My family now does Shabbat on Zoom every Friday night. From AZ, CO & TX, I am able to spend time with my siblings and parents every week! And shout out to my parents who learned a whole new technology platform in their late 60s and early 70s. I am truly proud of them and excited that we have a new way to connect from afar. I have recorded a few of these events because they are hysterical (think Seinfeld meets Muppets) and also I suspect they will be cherished treasures of mine one day…but for now, they are just files hanging out in my new laptop just waiting to be rediscovered sometime in the distant future.

+ We paid off my car! I think there was like 7k left on it when we paid it off in one lump sum! Like what? Who does that? Especially THIS YEAR! I am truly grateful to be paying off our debts and making our monthly expenses less – you know, in case we lose our jobs again. Which I don’t think will happen, but 2020 definitely taught me that you never know and to prepare for the worst.

+ I cried many healing tears. And accordingly, I would like to thank Taylor Swift, Alicia Keys, Bon Iver, Lady A and Foo Fighters for helping to facilitate that. For someone who likes to just put their head down and grind when the going gets tough, it was really transformational for me to allow myself to cry more this year, to stop stuffing my feelings down and to simply allow them to move through me and flow.

 + We invested in Alpine Touring Gear so we can ski uphill and explore the backcountry. And we already completed our Intro to Backcountry Skiing on Sunday. Next up in 2021: Avalanche Rescue Course. Again, you must always prepare for the worst. 😉

️ + We finally replaced our hot tub that broke in February when it was too cold to do anything about it and we didn’t have the money at the time anyway. Our new hot tub is AMAZING and I am so incredibly grateful for it on the daily. Thank you to our wonderful neighbor for hooking us up with some sweet discounts too! Sitting in the hot tub at night is one of our favorite things to do together and has become somewhat of a nightly ritual. No distractions, no devices – pure bliss!

+ I got off social media for the last 3-5 months, depending on which app we are talking about. I have found myself less concerned with what everyone else is doing, thinking and feeling and more concerned with what I am doing, thinking and feeling. And that feels really good. And natural. And in a weird way, I am a little sad to realize that I think my social media addiction may be truly over. I got back on last week to share about getting the COVID vaccine at work and it has been really interesting to see how I am feeling now that I am back on there. To be honest, I am just over it. I don’t like how it makes me feel. I don’t like how it steals my precious time from me. I don’t like seeing every asinine thing on the internet. So today, December 29th, 2020, deleted the apps from my phone again and I may even deactivate my accounts. Living my life in real life feels more authentic, engaging, an inspiring for me…so I think 2021 will be my first social media free year since before Facebook even existed! Talk about FREEDOM!

+ I got furloughed from one job so I got another job in home health. And while this is certainly not my dream job or population, it has been a huge blessing for us financially when we needed it most. I can also add another setting to my resume now. And it feels good to have some professional options for work, even in a very small mountain town.

+I quit a job where I didn’t feel valued or respected. Doesn’t matter why I felt that way – it felt good to live in integrity and resign from an organization that didn’t align with my values. Period.

+I took a class on Jewish prayer with one of my favorite teachers from growing up, Cantor Mark Levine. Definitely NOT to be confused with the Fox News star, Mark Levin. VERY different people. VERY different values. Anyway, it was so nice to reconnect with Cantor Levine and be his student once again. Pandemic perk for sure!

+I restarted therapy. Now, you might not see this as a positive thing that I felt I needed to restart therapy and while I can see that point, I am actually excited to be working with my old therapist again twice a month via telehealth. I stopped working with her when we moved to Leadville in December 2016 so it has been really cool to reconnect and get her perspective on things in life, esp since she already knows me so well.

Strangely enough I did not pick a word for 2020 as I usually do – maybe somehow I intuitively knew that 2020 was more about rolling with life and less about crushing goals. Anyway, the word Inspiration came to me this morning and it was crystal clear. So that is my word for 2021: INSPIRATION. Most of 2020 I have felt pretty down, angry and burned out so my hope for the New Year is to plug back into activities, hobbies, people and places that inspire me and promote joy, creativity and peace.

I wish for you the same… Inspiration, Joy, Creativity and Peace.

Be well,

Sondra