My Rocky Mountain Heart

I was a sophomore in college when Facebook launched. My college, Washington University in St. Louis, was one of the very first colleges that had access to it. Did you even remember that Facebook started off ONLY on college campuses? In fact, if you didn’t have a .edu email address, you couldn’t join. But that was back in 2003.

It was exam time during the Spring semester and I remember being locked in my Wheeler dorm room studying non-stop. When a friend sent me an AIM message and told me about Facebook, I was curious because I needed a study break. I needed a distraction. So down the rabbit hole I went.

And here I am 17 years later finally clawing my way out of that rabbit hole. On August 1st, I deleted Facebook from my phone and on October 1st, I deleted Instagram from my phone. Admittedly, I probably belong in a 12-step program due to my addiction to social media. However, this digital detox felt different because the need arose from deep within. Not just for a “break” but rather as a means for a redefining of my life. I was tired of all the wasted hours mindlessly scrolling and admittedly comparing myself to others and always feeling not enough. Even the educational and positive things that social media brought to my life, like learning how to be an Anti-Racist and a better ally to BIPOC, left me feeling like I wasn’t doing enough or advocating enough, or donating enough money. There it is again, that word…enough. And in terms of my coaching business, I hadn’t landed a new client in MONTHS and yet I kept telling myself, saying that I had to be on social media for my business.

But the truth is, I was lying to myself.

I didn’t HAVE TO be on social media for my business. I CHOSE to be. And even though this thing, these apps, were sucking my time and energy from me like a leech feasting on my soul, I couldn’t see the harm I was causing myself day in and day out. I just accepted that is normal. This is just what people do now in 2020. This is how you grow a business, this is how you stay connected with your friends, and this is how you stay plugged in.

But then something sort of other worldly happened and I had an epiphany…

What if I wasn’t plugged in? What if I truly UNplugged? What would happen? Would anyone notice? Would anyone care? How would my life change? Who would keep in touch with me if it required the extra effort of sending an individual text message? Or heaven forbid, even a…. PHONE CALL?!?!

The best part was that suddenly I didn’t care. I didn’t care if anyone noticed. I didn’t care if people missed seeing my stories and posts. I wanted my time, energy and life back…for ME. I spent 17 of my 37 years on this earth so far plugged in so deeply to the Matrix that I forgot just how abnormal it is to be glued to this miniature computer/phone/tracking device in my pocket at all times.

So what is the problem anyway?

Well as an occupational therapist, certified wellness coach and yoga teacher who specializes in supporting Traumatic Brain Injury Survivors, I have to say that reading this article about how smart phone addiction is changing our brains really frightened me. I invite you to check it out below.

https://www.cnn.com/2017/11/30/health/smartphone-addiction-study/index.html

It was also surprising to hear that friends of mine are, and I’m using their words not mine, jealous of me for getting off all social media platforms.

Jealous???

Hmmm…that’s odd. 🤔

As if getting off social media is something that I have accomplished. Or as if it something that others cannot do.

Multiple friends have expressed this to me as of late. I find it…interesting, to say the least.

It makes me wonder just how deep the social media grooves run in our psyche. It makes me realize just how easily we accepted this technology without questioning what it is doing to us – our behavior, our bank accounts, our thoughts, our feelings, our time, and even our brain structures. I, for one, 100% accepted that social media is just what you do in 2020. I couldn’t understand how my husband wasn’t on Instagram for hours at a time like me. I didn’t get it. Until now. But ultimately, this time away has made me recognize the true addiction I had.

On several occasions my sweet husband asked me “Why do you have delete the apps from your phone? Why can’t you just not look at them?”

My response?

“Babe, that is like asking a drug addict who just walked into the house on Scarface not to worry about all those piles of blow on the table. Just look away. Why can’t you just look away?”

Here is why…

Because I am an addict. I can’t look away. I can’t ignore. I can’t control my use. I can’t set boundaries. I can’t make rules and follow them. I can’t have the app (ie the drugs) and not use it. Obsessively.

So much like a drug addict or alcoholic may go to detox or rehab to initiate sobriety, I consider this 4th Quarter of 2020 to be my version of rehab. Detoxing from the thing that had me so incredibly hooked that I was on my screen over an AVERAGE of 8 hours a day! 😳🙈(I’m now down to 1.5 hours total. And proud of it!)

But here is the thing…

You get to choose where you put your attention, energy and time.

And you can redefine your life at anytime.

You and ONLY you can do that.

And if YOU don’t? Well, then you can expect everyone else to do it for you.

Your kids.

Your spouse.

Your parents.

Your boss.

Society.

Social media.

Our government.

Television.

Advertising.

Whether we realize it or not, the world and everyone in it is constantly fighting for our attention. Attention is the new currency. This is how companies make $ off of us. They keep us hooked on social media so that we scroll across their ads and spend our $ on their products. But guess what? If you take back your life, your energy, your attention and time – then YOU are truly the one in charge of your life.

If you unplug from the Matrix, you will answer to no one except yourself.

Are you ready to unplug the drug?

Are you ready to take back your life?

Are you ready to free yourself from the digital leash that controls you?

Are you ready to have more time and energy to do things that actually light you up?

Are you ready to become the CEO of your own life?

I dare you to delete these drugs, I mean apps, from your phone and see what happens.

Just consider it an experiment. I dare you to try it for one month! Try it just for December and end the year with more clarity, presence, and curiosity.

What do you really have to lose?

(Except maybe a lot of wasted time, energy and $.)

If you decide to dive in, shoot me an email and let me know how it goes. I’d love to connect and see what comes up for you in the process.

Goodbye, Instagram!

Hello, Freedom!

Mask On. Phone off. Stay healthy.

Be well friends… 💛, Sondra

sondrafunk@gmail.com