My Rocky Mountain Heart

No, I am not talking about the turkey, stuffing, potatoes and pies… I am talking about THANKS GIVING! I mean literally giving thanks for all the things in your life. Or hell for your life. Period.

How many of you know people that live their life at the complaint counter? (I’m envisioning all your hands being raised right now. Am I right?) And how many of those complaint counter dwellers are happy and fulfilled? I mean actually happy with their lives? Yup, you guessed it — NONE of them! So why are we surprised when we read quotes about gratitude and how having a gratitude practice can change your life? We shouldn’t be. Because it can. Simple as that.

But….

Here is what I’ve learned about gratitude and authenticity: You don’t have to and should not give thanks for the painful experiences in your life (like my miscarriage) because that would be total bullshit. But where the shift can really happen for you is when you can recognize all the wonderful things that have come about as a result of said painful event or tragedy. Or the lessons you learned and the growth you experienced because of going through that painful experience. And THAT is what you should give thanks for. THAT is where you find the beauty, that is so often wrapped up tightly & hidden away deep below the pain. THAT is where you find the light amidst the darkness. And THAT my friends, is something to be thankful for.

We all have pain. And burdens. And fears. And frustrations. And anger. And things that shouldn’t have happened to us because we are good people. But you know what? I’m starting to learn to be grateful for all of it. The good, the bad, and the ugly. You know why? Because for the most part, it’s the really hard and painful stuff that has forced me to grow. It’s the loss, the grief, the anger, the sadness and the fear that forces me to confront my shortcomings and learn to vibe higher. And let me be honest, it is not easy, by any means – but it’s worth it because it helps me become a better version of myself.

So how do you get there? How do you vibe higher when the shit hits the fan? Well…

Step 1: Be honest about where you are. If you’re pissed, be pissed. Don’t pretend to be ready for gratitude if you are not. Hell, toss back a Tito’s and OJ if you need to. Vent. Cry. Shout. But then…

Step 2: Reflect. Ask yourself the tough questions. Why is this happening? What can I learn from this? What have I learned from this? What might this situation bring about that couldn’t have entered my life any other way? Where can I grow from this experience? What can I let go of to create space for something new and better to come along?

Step 3: Give Thanks. Develop a gratitude practice. That could look different for you than it does for me. That practice could include prayer, journaling, verbalizing 3 things you are thankful for everyday to your partner, meditation, sending a thank you note to someone, writing a blog, cleaning the house, smiling more, moving your body… and the list goes on. The key is to find a way to express gratitude that feels authentic and natural for you! By doing so, you shift your focus from the complaint counter to the abundant blessings you have in life – even in the midst of pain.

This is a skill that takes practice to develop. It takes time to cultivate the ability to have gratitude in the midst of pain but it is possible. I know this because I remember when I had my miscarriage, sitting in our recliner chair in our living room with excruciating pain in my abdomen, feeling like someone was literally stabbing a knife in my belly, and simultaneously looking over at Ryan and thinking, “Thank God for you. Thank God you are my person. Thank God you are here.” And I know that if I can find something to give thanks for in that moment, that I will always be able to find a way to shift my mindset to one of gratitude.

Every day is a day to give thanks.

Every day I wake up I am thankful to be alive.

I hope you feel the same.

Happy Thanksgiving, my friends.

Wishing you a happy Thanks Giving every day from here on out!