My Rocky Mountain Heart

Since I was 3 years old and first visited Colorado and learned how to ski (as a Powder Panda and Snowmass Ski Bunny), my soul has yearned to live in a ski town. I love the energy of all the adventurous, athletic and happy vacationers. I love the freedom and rush I get from flying down a mountainside in fresh powder, gliding along the glistening snow that engulf the Rocky Mountains, some of God’s greatest works of art. I love the coziness of reading a book by the fire watching the snow fall outside, with a hot cup of coffee in hand as well…obviously. As far back as I can remember, I envisioned my life like this. 

A few years before we moved to Colorado, Ryan and I took a trip up here to visit. It was a short trip, just a long weekend away to visit some friends and sneak in a day of skiing at Breckenridge. As we were driving from Breckenridge back to Denver to go visit Ryan’s college roommate and his family (in Parker actually), a John Mayer song came on. The song is called “New Deep.” The melody and lyrics spoke to me…and suddenly I started crying. I remember I turned to Ryan as we were stuck at a dead stop on the highway because a mayonnaise truck had flipped on its side, and there was mayo all over the highway (you can’t make this shit up) and I said to him, “Why don’t we live here?” He responded, “I don’t know.” We couldn’t come up with a reason why we shouldn’t move. Well, the only one was truly our family. And that’s a BIG one! But after trying to ignore those whispering mountains for several years & the eventual passing of both my grandparents, we just couldn’t temper the yearning to become Coloradans anymore. Ryan called a realtor and so we began renovating our very outdated first house so that we could put it on the market. Within 3 days we had an offer at almost asking price and we had 24 hours to make a decision. We had ZERO plan beyond selling our house, we actually hadn’t even discussed what the next step would be. We went out for dinner at PF Chang’s and when I realized we had to make a decision by the end of THAT night, my anxiety went into overdrive. 

But where are we gonna go? I don’t even have a job in Colorado! And neither do you! What about the dogs? And how are we gonna pay for moving cross country? What if…what if…what if…!

And then Ryan said, “Do you trust me?” I said “Yes,” with a bit of hesitation in my voice. He assured me, “It’s all going to work out. And worst case scenario…we can always come back!” He knows that worst case scenario is an invaluable tool for me to manage my anxiety. I have to do that to help put things in perspective and to remind myself that I can handle whatever is thrown my way, despite the infestation of “what if bugs” that live in my mind. 

So when we got home from dinner that night we called Robert Jory (our realtor) and told him, “We accept the offer!” 

And with those words, we leaped into the unknown with no plan, no money saved up really, and a lot of hope + plenty of fear. Every time a friend questioned this decision to me, I second guessed myself. I started thinking…”What if they’re right?” I let their voices drown out my own voice. But despite my waivering, daily doubts, and ever growing list of fears…I trusted. I trusted Ryan. I trusted the universe. And for the first time EVER, I really trusted God. I realized that if I wanted the vision I had for my life to materialize, I wouldn’t know all the details of how it was going to all work out. I couldn’t know all the logistics…I would simply have to have faith that somehow, someway, it was all going to come together in the end. 

And here we are, 3+ years later living as Coloradans but I am revisiting this story of facing fears and strengthening my faith because again I find myself in a similar predicament. With Ryan’s company closing at the end of 2016, he is taking this as a sign from the universe that perhaps it’s time for the next chapter of our life…in Summit County. We are in the throws of fixing up our house again to put it on the market, only this time we do have a plan! Somewhat of a plan anyway… There is so much that is up the air and so many decisions still to be made but I suspect that 2017 is going to bring a lot of excitement and change into our life: a new city, new home, new jobs, more skiing, less traffic, more snow, less fear, and more faith. A whole lot more faith. 

Time to turn the page…